


I want to be yours.

by Yachanbby



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Dork Jean Kirstein, Eren Yeager Being an Idiot, Eren and Jean are kinda friends but not really, Eventual Marco Bott/Jean Kirstein, Everyone Is Gay, French Jean Kirstein, French-Speaking Jean Kirstein, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, My First Work in This Fandom, Pining Jean Kirstein, eren comforting jean awkwardly, jean confesses in french on the daily cause he’s a coward, jean is an utter idiot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 07:27:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28524693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yachanbby/pseuds/Yachanbby
Summary: Jean cant help falling in love with Marco, the boys just too loveable for his own good.Or alternativelyJean Kirsten is a wimp and instead of manning up and telling Marco he loves him he just confesses in french every day, leaving Marco in the dark.
Relationships: Marco Bott/Jean Kirstein
Comments: 7
Kudos: 38





	1. Chapter 1

If you had asked Jean a year ago what he’d be doing in a year he would have said “training my ass off to make it into the military police so i can live my life without a worry in the world”. And although that’s exactly what he’s doing now there’s one extra detail he hadn’t even thought of and that would be that he’s fallen helplessly in love with his freckled best friend.

In society’s eyes it’s wrong for a male to love another male, Jean knows that but he cant help that he thinks differently. To Jean itsy just normal, plain old love. He loves watching the way his eyes light up like a million stars and he adores the cute puppy dog smile that appears on his lips. He’s far too smitten to even think about going back to crushing on Mikasa and being societies version of normal. 

he doesn’t care though because he’s grown to love being in love with Marco Bodt.

***

It’s s way past ten on a Saturday night and most of the boys in cabin four are either crashed out or huddled in their own little groups talking about everything and nothing.

Jean however lays on the top bunk of his and Marcos shared bunk, eyes half lidded as he stares at the roof listening to Marco humming a sweet melody from below. 

With a drawn out sigh Jean closes his eyes and makes up his mind about something. He opens his eyes again as he thinks ‘why the fuck not’ before he parts his lips, calling out to the boy on his mind, “hey Marco?”

The humming comes to a stop and he gets an immediate reply of, “yeah Jean?”. Jean smiles into his blanket at the sound of Marco sleepily saying his name. With a deep breath Jean gets the courage to speak again.

“ i wanna try and say something....you most likely wont understand it since it’s in a different language” he tells the boy and his mind instantly fills with unwanted and borderline crazy thoughts. ‘What if Marco doesn’t think theres a point in listening? What if he doesn’t like the way french sounds? What if he starts resenting me?’

All of the needless thoughts are washed away as Marco laughs and tells him he can say whatever he wants and Marco will listen. Of course Jean knows this though, one off the reasons Jean is so madly in love with Marco is because of his kindness. Marco is always there to listen and to help, it’s an amazing part of the boy. 

Without giving it anymore thought Jean opens his mouth and starts speaking, “Je t’aime beaucoup. J’adore tes jolies taches de rousseur et elles me rappellent les étoiles. J’ai un peu de chance de voir mon propre ciel quand je suis fatigué de celui que je partage avec tout le monde.”

By the time jean finishes his confession he’s bright red and hiding under his covers even though Marco can’t see him. He’s proud of himself though, he didn’t stutter once and his pronunciation was perfect. He knows that if he had said what he said in english though he would have fucked up so much and been a mess.

For a good few moments there is silence and then there’s a slight shuffling from the bunk below before Marcos face is looking at him from the side of the bunk.

“Wow Jean!! That sounded beautiful! Although you’re right I didn’t understand it…what language is it and what did you say?” Marco shoots out excitedly, eyes gleaming with wonder and adoration in the way Jean loves oh so much.

When Jeans brain processes what Marco said he turns into even more of a mess, there is not one spot from his ears to his neck that isn’t burning red (not that anyone can see it in the darkness though). ‘I cant just say, oh hey yeah I just confessed to you in french, the language of love and my native tongue, cause I’m scared of rejection but really needed to let that out’ Jean says internally while quickly deciding to only tell Marco about the stars.

“It’s uh french...my maman taught it to me before I could even speak english because it’s important to my family that we keep our heritage alive. O-oh and I was talking about how the stars shine brightly and are pretty” Jean explains in a gentle voice. 

The said boy moves his gaze to meet Marcos and even in the darkness he’s able to make out Marco’s large adorable smile. “Can you say something else in french?” Marco pleads and Jean lifts the blanket away from where it had covered his mouth and smiles back.

“Of course” he starts, staring into Marco’s chocolate eyes and almost cooing at how big and pretty they are, “tes yeux sont si jolis” he whispers and despite the softness Marco catches it.

“Woahhh your voice is so elegant and pretty when you speak french!!” Marco says, his eyes widening more as he leans in closer to Jean. 

In that moment Jean decides he’ll speak in french more often from now on. 

~English translation~ “I love you very much. I love your pretty freckles and they remind me of the stars. I’m lucky to see my own sky when I’m tired of the one I share with everyone“ “Your eyes are so pretty”


	2. two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean finds out more people know french than he expected,,,,,

It’s been a week since Jean confessed (but not really confessed) and throughout the said week he’s continued to randomly compliment Marco every chance he gets -in french of course- before giving the said boy a crappy sentence in english to replace the compliment.

Whatever answer he gives is usually about something close to him, whether it be the flowers in the field they'd been working in (which made Marco look like a fucking angel mind you) or their odm gear when they were practicing for the test they have in around three months. Marco the poor boy really thinks Jean is just teaching him fun little sentences here and there and always smiles along, sometimes trying to copy what Jean said. He undoubtedly fails most times and it ends with the two of them laughing their asses off and Jean teasingly saying the messed up word over and over.

These moments always end up being the highlight of Jeans day even if by the end of it he feels a little sad inside because he knows that if Marco were to learn the truth he’d probably lose his best friend.

He tries not the think about that too much though, he decides it’s best to just focus on the now and how the little comments he gives here and there always makes him feel a whole lot less like he’s about to die every-time he speaks to his best friend.

***

Today was a tiring day full of shadis yelling at all the trainees “YOULL NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH YOU SHOULD JUST GIVE UP AND HEAD FOR THE FEILDS” or “YOU’D BE TITAN CHOW AS SOON AS YOU LEFT THESE WALLS WITH THAT BLOODY TECHNIQUE” and that’s why Jeans relieved when he finally gets his two pieces of fish and is allowed to finally sit down and rest.

He picks at his food lazily, head resting in the palm of his hand as he stares more at Marco than anything else. The freckled boy is straight across from him, bertholdt on his left side and connie on his left. 

The two quieter boys are having a hushed conversation about tomorrows ruthless training no doubt and connie is well being connie. He’s got a piece of stale bread standing upright on his nose as he tries desperately to keep it balanced. He has no success though since Sasha quickly snatches it and begins devouring it. Connie responds with several karate chops to the red heads shoulder before he gives up and whines.

Jean lets out a laugh at the duos antics. He honestly couldn’t ask for better friends, well I mean besides Marco. As the boy enters his mind again Jean moves his gaze back to the brunette just in time to see him open his mouth and let put a hearty laugh. 

He’s starstruck at such a simple action, Marcos an angel. He fucking /has/ to be, how else would he be this ethereal? Before he can stop them the words bubble from his lips -thank god they come out in french- 

“Tu es belle mon amour”

Marco immediately looks towards Jean as he hears the words that were spoken and he smiles, oblivious to the meaning behind them. “What did you say this time? Something about how amazing this burnt fish tastes?” Marco asks with a teasing hint to his voice.

Jean smiles back shyly and waves him off, trying to think of a cover up when he hears a choking sound from down the table and he freezes. Slowly he turns to look down the table only to find Eren fucking Yeager staring at him in shock and astonishment from his place between Reiner and Ymir.

Jean just stares at Eren, frozen in his seat until the loud boy finally talks. “What in the fuck did you just say Jean?” He says rudely but he’s still gaping at Jean like a fish out of water.

“Oh he’s just speaking french Eren, it wasn't an insult or anything i dont think” Marco pipes up with a smile, trying to ease the tension. 

Eren looks towards Marco his eyebrows raised as his face takes a look of something similar to being unimpressed, “oh I fucking know it was french” the bluey-grey eyed boy. Jeans blood runs cold.

He hadnt expected anyone else here to know french let alone Eren jaeger. suddenly Jeans body starts up again and he’s able to find his voice. “Eren” the blonde begins, trying to get the said boys attention, fortunately he does, “lets talk outside, yeah?” Jeans happy he made his voice sound normal and it didn't come out like he was about to break down.

Erens face goes blank again before it returns to his normal look, “sure”. And with that the two of them head for the door, leaving more than a few stares trailing after them.

***

When the two of them departed from the dining hall silence was left in their wake until Sasha and Connie started arguing again and things went back to normal. Marco remained silent though as people started to have conversations around him. To be honest he was worried about Jean and Eren what if the two of them started fighting and no one was there to stop them, they’d probably be hurt pretty bad since they’re both okay fighters. And Shadis would probably punish them.

Marco suddenly felt the presence of something on his cheek and he looks up to see that Armin and Mikasa had finally come back from cooking duty along with christa and thomas. After a few seconds he realises that armins poking his cheek and smiling at him gently.

“Why're you frowning Marco?” The blonde boy asks with concern. You see Marco, bertholdt and armin had a very good friendship, whenever Jean wasn't with him Armin and Bertholdt would be. They often read together and share stories of their pasts or just talk about random things.

Marco clears his throat and forces the frown off his face, replacing it with a smile. “oh its nothing im just a little worried for Jean and Eren. You see Jean said something in french and Eren must have thought he was insulting him or something and then they both left....I dont want them to fight” marco explains before taking a sip of his water.

Armin laughs lightly, “oh it’ll be fine, dont worry. Eren knows french and was probably just surprised than Jean knew it too haha” he tells marco with a reassuring pat to the shoulder. 

“Oh! Thats good then I hope this might help them get along better!” Marco exclaims with hope filling his eyes and his blonde haired friend nods along with him. 

Marco really does just want everyone to get along.


	3. three

After the two boys had left the dining hall they walked silently around the side so they’d have some privacy as they talked. Although there isn’t any talking going on right now.

They both sat in a long, despair filled silence. Jeans crouched low to the ground with his head in his hands, he’s holding onto his hair so tight he feels like he’s about to rip it out. But thats honestly no where near the amount of hurt his heart is going through. Realistically theres still a chance everything will work out and it’ll be fine but Jean can’t see clearly.

All he can think is that this is how he loses his best-friend , after he’s done talking to Eren he’s no doubt gonna go and tell Marco of his crush and everything is gonna be ruined.

While Jean is honestly a mess right now, Eren is the complete opposite. He’s calmly leaning against the wall about a metre away, staring softly at the training field in front of them. His demeanour is honestly very unlike Eren.

After a few deep breaths Jean lets his hands fall from his face as he works up the courage to speak one simple sentence, “so you know french huh?”

He hopes he’s wrong and this is all just a misunderstanding. He hopes that Marco was right and Eren really just does think Jean had insulted him, but something about Eren right now tells him differently.

“Yeah I do” the dreaded answer arrives although its not alone “Armin found a book when we were seven and practically forced Mikasa and I to learn it with him”

Jean feels his throat tighten and he drops his gaze back to the floor as he begins laughing, it’s an insane laugh one that someone who just lost everything would laugh. It quickly turns to sobs though and he clutches a hand over his mouth trying to stop the boy beside him from finding out how broken he feels.

That obviously doesn't work though and Eren starts speaking in a harsh tone, “Oi Jean, why’re you crying like a fucking three year old?” A hand clamps down on his shoulder and the blonde flinches. He doesn’t even look up though because he’s to busy trying to stop his tears and prepare himself for all the other insults Eren is gonna through at him.

They dont come though, instead a sigh cuts through the air and then Eren speaks in a much lower tone, not really softer but its also less angry and rude. 

“Look I wont tell anyone that you’re bloody head over heels for freckles but it’s really not something to be ashamed of idiot. Seriously! Why’re you crying like a baby plenty of people here are gay or bi-I agh! You get what I mean idiot, tch” Eren rants and Jean finally looks at the boy who’s trying to ‘comfort’ him.

Jean can’t help but laugh, a real laugh, at the look on his stupid face. He looks constipated, literally his eyebrows are screwed up, his eyes are sharpened into a glare and a frown is sitting on his lips.

“Hey! DONT laugh at me you horse-face” Eren roars whilst giving Jean a swift slap to the back of his two-toned head. Jean scowls at the boys words before things settle into a nice silence.

‘Maybe Eren isn't that bad after all...I only really didn’t like him cause of my crush on mikasa’ Jean thinks to himself as he wipes his face clear of any signs that he’d cried.

Hey Eren?” Jean calls for the shorter boys attention and Eren looks back towards him, “Yeah Jean?” He replies.

‘Here it goes.’ Jean takes a deep breath and then speaks again, “Thank you a lot, I mean it.” After that theres a long pause and then,

“No problem...horse face”

Jean rolls his eyes and mutters a “there it is” under his breath.

_________author note__________

heyyy so um sorry about the short chapter and bad formatting >_< i just wanted to update heh. Anyway hope you all have a lovely day/night!!!


End file.
